Lessons Learned From Horses #1

I intend to get a blog post every week, if not more often, however this time it was particularly difficult. It was hard for me to think of what would go next, and whether people would respond well to it or if I needed to reflect upon or talk about a different topic. I worried it wouldn't be good enough or people wouldn't like it…

Which led me to to the realization of what I needed to talk about next.

Horses have taught me so many lessons in life. I have been able to feel my highest highs with horses, when everything goes right... and on the contrary, I have experienced my lowest lows. That being said, one of the biggest lessons they have taught me is how to deal with negative emotions in a more positive way. Nothing is ever easy with horses. They literally require hours of work in upkeep every single day, and thats without even the “fun” part. And, to top it off, if I ever stepped into the stirrups with a negative attitude whether it was fear, or even just frustration with something completely different in my day, the horse could feel that and they would not be as keen to give me the ride I sought. So, through my life I have gained valuable lessons on how to turn my negative emotions into positive thoughts. And, only recently, I’ve really been able to put them into practice.

It's been so important to me to realize that I just have to keep going. I could have easily given up years ago, but I haven't yet, and I don't intend to any time soon. Despite the failures I've had, its important to keep pushing towards that dream that I mentioned in my blog post.

I’m going to talk about some different negative emotions, when I experienced them, and how I was able to, in those instances, turn them into a positive to make them learning experiences - instead of a failure.

First, is probably the biggest one that any equestrian deals with, Fear. Fear is something that can stop you in your tracks and make you rethink everything you just thought up. To me, fear can literally cripple me. When I feel enough fear my legs can get weak, my heart will race. So, not only is it an emotion, but it can affect me physically, too. Something I feared a lot at one time was standing on a horse. While I had done it when I was (much) younger, doing it now just didnt seem so… possible. I was pushed to try it again and again, and when I would try, my legs would give out and I’d have to sit back down. It wasn’t until one day that I just made up my mind that I could, and would do it, that it even seemed possible. And, even after that day I had fear.

But finally, back at nationals this year, I decided again that it would be possible, and easy. And, not only was I able to do it, but I was able to bring it on myself to do it with people around. My legs stayed underneath me, and I thought of what could go right, instead of what could go wrong.

So, that brings me to the next one, self-doubt. Years ago, I went to my first national show. It was me, my mom, and my three horses loaded into the trailer that I had worked months with to try and make them the best they could be. I had dreams that I would be in the winners circle, but I had no idea what it would actually be like. When we pulled up to the show, I just looked out the window at how many people were there, and watched some practice. The arena was huge, and I was just a little girl from Illinois. Self-doubt made my winners circle dream turn into a vision about just plain embarrassing myself stepping into the ring.

The best thing I did in that situation was asking for help. I had met people there who helped me, mentored me, and gave me confidence, and that year alone I won at least 5 ribbons including 2 that were placements

within the top half of the class. Even still, I feel self-doubt a lot, and even still, I constantly ask for help.

But not every show ring experience turned out that well.

The biggest thing I think that horses taught me was how to deal with disappointment and frustration. It was easy to get out of a class with a low, or no, placement and blame the horse, blame myself, blame the weather. It was easy to feel down on my luck or like I could have done everything better. It was easy to sit in a lump, and find every reason to be down about the ride I had. But, I had to realize something.

These horses were my partners. We had put in all of the hours, and had spent all of that time preparing. I made it that far, and it’s not over. It’s so easy to feel disappointed when you think of what was possible, but what I had to realize, and continue to think of today, is that it’s important to think of what is possible. It’s important to not get discouraged and keep moving to the next thing. If you quit, you definitely won’t succeed, but each failure can teach you something to help you to succeed. I’ve been able to use that outlook again and again, to keep myself pushing forward to the next thing. And really, in the last two months, it has helped me more than I can even describe.

I believe I have gained a lot of confidence. Something that really helped me to realize this, and even keep pushing further was this TED talk.

These different lessons have helped me to shape my attitude to have a brighter outlook. I can’t really control the different things that happen, that cause these different emotions, but what I can control is how I take them, and shape them into something positive. Thanks to my life with the horses, I have been forced to keep a positive attitude, otherwise, we would get nowhere. And, I’ll be honest… I want to go somewhere!